Why are thighs so Prima Donna? Why are they all Diva and narcissistic?
They're always so puffed up and proud of themselves. They're always showing themselves off no matter what you wear to try to disguise them a bit. They're always smiling their big, dimply smiles for everyone to see.
And they're noisy. Always have something to say. They are so desperate for attention that they make a ruckus when you walk. If you're wearing jeans they make a slightly raspy din as the seams rub together. Wearing yoga pants? A bit of a "rubbing two sticks together until they combust" racket. And maybe they really could combust? I don't know but I refuse to call their bluff by hopping on the StairMaster! Wearing spanks beneath a pretty dress? Oh yeah, lots of fun sound effects there. Thighs just don't let up!
Have you ever had your jeans spontaneously rip in the thighs? Like when you're at work and you're, oh, say, bending over to fetch a prescription off the lowest shelf? In fact, when your jeans are getting just a little worn in that spot do you have actual nightmares about them ripping in an inconvenient, and obvious, situation?
D'oh! I loathe you self-centered, vainglorious, conceited thighs!!! On the other hand, I guess it's good that I have thighs. Without them I'd be as tall, not to mention as charming, as Cotton Hill. [Between you and me? I'm already just as pleasant as good ole' Cotton, but without the lack of half my legs and the silver-gray crew cut nobody has seemed to notice it yet. No comments from you, darling daughter!!! ]
I'd love a bit of thigh...so jealous! Now this Santa belly that is growing by the moment is quite another thing.
ReplyDeleteSo glad your dd got you back in the swing of making us all laugh during our daily computer routines.
Cheering you on in all your en-devours. Grasshopper
You do NOT have a santa belly : )
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! Not sure how often I'll post here, just trying to give my girl a chuckle or two!